Speech: Be Patient
“Are you on the way?”
“I just woke up. I forgot the time.”
“Oh, it’s fine. I sent the restaurant location to u. We can meet here directly.”
After another twenty minutes, I sipped yet another cup of water. People who arrived after me have nearly finished their meals. I glance at the watch, feeling each passing minute stretch out like an eternity.
“Where are you now?”
“I just left. walking there.”
Come on, why isn’t she running? She knows she’s already late, and here I am, waiting. Yet, she still took her time before leaving home. It’s baffling. She should have left much earlier to meet me.
My phone rings again.
“Where is the restaurant?”
“I sent you.”
After hang out the phone, my anger peaks. She doesn’t even know the address yet? Can she ask me for it earlier? It doesn’t take much effort to think about it. Then she can also suggest meeting at a more convenient location?
I thought she could do better. When we blame others, we often think, “If I were in their shoes, I would not have done things like this.” When you’re late, you should run. When meeting friends, you should check the address in advance. When giving a speech, you should memorize the script. It’s not difficult, right? We thought, these are basic expectations. when someone falls short, we take it granted that we should not leave any patience.
However, this assumption doesn’t mean we should take our patience away, instead, it indicates we are in a lack of patience. It can even more damaging when directed at yourself.
Last month, I realized that I had interviewed with ten companies this year. None of them replied. I didn’t receive a single offer. I thought, How could this be? I had enough project experience, prepared for every interview, and tried the best for each opportunity. With good communication skills, technical expertise, and a not bad-looking appearance, I should have received at least one offer, right?.
Even worse, I started to set some strange standards, repeatedly hinting myself my current situation is risky
It is too long to stay a company for two years.
I’m already 26 years old! Time is fleeting.
If I can’t get an offer, what does that mean for my future?
Finally, in another interview, I didn’t want to put any effort again, instead, I shouted at the interviewer, “It’s totally disrespectful that there has been no response for the past two months, yet there you ask me to do coding tests again. Why are there are so many arounds of code test? “ From hating what I am facing, I started to hate myself and wanted to give all up.
When you end up blaming yourself for not reaching your personal benchmarks, this is what we called self-criticism, which is necessary, but without any patience, it becomes self-loathing. The time to stay in a company is not directly related to career risk. Staying at any age doesn’t mean you’re at a make-or-break point in life. 10 interviews fails does not represent the 11st is not worth to try.
We are often inspired by the saying, “A man should do his job so well that the living, the dead, and the unborn could do it no better.” as a result, we build our value and set a series of standards: arriving on time, figuring out routes in advance, get the job offer if everything is qualified.
However, when you get stuck on these ideals, it is an indication that it is time for u to slow down. Let’s have a look inside, in fact, those standards drives us to make a judgement blindly and brutely, like being late or early is just a way that we judge others. If someone can satisfy all judgments, who can do it? Definitely not yourself, maybe robots, since, they have been trained by millions of researchers over decades.
With patience, we not only give others a relief, but also carry on with a more balanced and peaceful mindset for ourselves, it allows yourself to breathe. With patience, when you’re waiting for friends, you will enjoy the time more. With patience, When you’re feeling the pressure of unfulfilled personal expectations, you will still love yourself.
Finally, let me end with one motto: Next time, when you look at others or look at yourself in the mirror, smile and love what you see. If you can’t love it, then respect it. And if you can’t respect it, then encourage it. If you can’t encourage it, empower it. And if you can’t empower it, please be patient to it.
Thanks everyone!
